Australia

              Well I found out that Brigitte is in Australia. I called her phone number and one of her step children answered and told me. She will be gone for a couple of months he said. I am not sure though if she is coming back or staying. She will decide something I am sure. I guess technically she is offically out of my  life until she comes back or if she comes back. I will not lie I will miss her and yes I still love her perhaps I always will.

© 2012 M.J.M (Ghosting Miranda)

Health Issues

         

   Well, What can I really say? My health has been changing. I think more mentally then physically. I am feeling more depressed, and lonely. There isn't anyone I can connect to that really understand me except Brigitte. I am more sad lately I have not heard from Brigitte, we decided to be phone buddies. I have talked to her twice over the phone and that is it. It has been two weeks ago. She was contemplating a big decision.

A part of me thinks She decided on that decision, without saying goodbye. I really do not want to say more than that about her life, it wouldn't be right if I did. My mind seems going into a paranoia of being alone. I do not meet other people. I do not really know how. To be honest I am really anti-social. I am afraid of people. I prefer to stay away from everyone. I let Brigitte in. She was different.

 She is the only one I ever fell in love with seriously in love. I don't want to let anyone else in. I can write I have no issues with writing on here. I do not know anyone personally that knows me on the Internet, except Brigitte and my sisters. They still do not read my blogs though. I kind of do not want them to read it. It sounds crazy but the Internet is like my safe zone in where I can truly be myself. Any way that is what is going on in my head mentally.

Now time for the physical health issues. I think my Multiple Sclerosis is getting worse. I think I feel my head swelling and I feel pressure. I feel my back always hurting and it my spine that hurts. The only thing to help the pressure feeling is an ice pack.

I was also diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, and Very low potassium levels. I have pitting edema in my legs. I don't know. My breathing seem to be short and shallow. My chest  feels heavy. I also have this odd feeling like something is going to happen soon. I do not know what but what ever it is it is coming close.

© 2012 M.J.M (Ghosting Miranda)

The Need To Write.

I needed to start writing again. I guess for my feelings. I am having issues again. I guess that is why I am writing. My Issue is Brigitte. I have not heard from her. I think SHe might have returned to Australia. I could be wrong though, but gut feeling doesn't tell me that. We are not a couple anymore, so in fact she has no strings to me to even stay incontact. There is no obligation to keep in touch. I wish there was though. I d not think I am ever going to be real happy again. I am pretty sure I will die alone. I do wish that it would just go a head and happen because I am tired of live. I am so tired of living and I see no point in it. I am a very unhappy person. I just wish God would just do what ever. I really do think that he may not exsist that people just make God up because they need to have some feeling that they are not in control of their life. I don't know. I just hate it all really. Maybe one day, who knows.










    © 2012 M.J.M (Ghosting Miranda)

Graduated!

Well It is official I graduated from college. I got my Association of Arts in Business Administrations my concentration is visual communications. It has been a long couple of years. Now I am back in college going for my Bachelor’s degree in Fine Arts of web design and my concentration is still in the visual communication field. I plan on actually getting a Masters Degree. I will have to locate a new school for that though. I am excited. I feel like I passed a milestone in my life. A lot of things have happened to me this year. Brigitte and I ended our relationship this year. October 7th would have been our 5th anniversary. It is really hard but I think it was a mind game with her.  It hurt. It still hurts, and I also still love her. I guess I always will. In my heart and mind she was “the one”. She was the kind of person that people get the feeling about. Do you know what I mean?  There was a lot of mentally and emotional abuse. It was a decision I had to make. Even though you love them, they just were not healthy for you. I guess perhaps I passed two milestones they were both good for me, even though one was sad as well.

Me Again

                        

Hey their folks ! Long time no see. I have been really busy with school. Right now I am in Project Management. It isn’t too bad but my teacher is a total DICK. I have three more classes then I get my associates degree in visual communication. Then After that class I start working to get my bachelors degree in Digital Design.

 

How is my Health Doing? Unfortunately I am going through my second relapses with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I believe that I am suffering from  dysarthria. The neurologist doesn’t consider what I am going through a relapse. All they did was give me Gapatine for nerve pain. I have to take 300mg of it at night before I go to bed.

Sick

 

 

Well I appear to be really sick. Yesterday I felt like I was dyeing. I had a fever and everything. When a person with Multiple Sclerosis is sick, it gives the person a hell of a time.

I do feel a lot better though yesterday I couldn’t even get on the computer or even have a life. I was on bed rest. I finally got my yoga gear today. I can not wait until I am better. I want to get started on it. I started my accounting class last week. I do not like it. I hate anything with math.  I have two assignments to do. The bad thing about doing online classes  is that you have no excuse to not turn in assignments. You really do not have no excuse to miss class. I have been waiting for an email from my teacher. I had an issue with posting to the discussion board. The format is just not right. I wrote the teacher  three days ago. By rules he is suppose to get a hold of me and well He has not.

The neighbors are harvesting their corn. It is putting dry dust everywhere. It makes it hard to breathe. Well wish me luck people that I feel better soon.

My MS Yoga

Out of curiosity I wound up and ordered a free yoga video for people who have Multiple Sclerosis.It is  called MYMSYOGA with BARON BAPTISTE and Dr. Elliot Frohman

 

            

I am really  going to really  try to do this. I have even ordered a beginners yoga kit. It come with blocks, a matt, a belt, and a ball. I am not sure if I will lose weight while doing this but I am not really concerned about that. What I am concerned about are the muscles in my feet.  The soles of my feet feel like they are ripping apart when I walk on them. It causes me great pain. I know walking is also good but for right now I do not see myself enjoying walking for an exercise.  Here is the site to get a free Yoga video for those who have MS.

Order a Free Copy of the My MS Yoga DVD

Exercising

Yes people i got lectured  for not exercising. I got the you know how it is important for you to keep moving because you got Multiple Sclerosis !!!!  I know what I should do. It is just so  freaking hard for me to move. I am always in pain, and I just can not do what I use to do and it makes me angry. It makes me angry that i can not  walk as  far and fast like i use to. I do not like feeling angry every time i exercise but that is what happens. SO i  have been avoiding it. It seems like no one understands this except for me. I feel like if people understood what I was going through perhaps they would lay off the lectures, and the disappointed  looks. I get so tired of living with this god awful disease.

I am A Great Aunt

Well my niece finally popped out a baby girl.

Art Appreciation Assignment.

Well I am having issues with  an assignment. It is really  hard for me. this is  what  we are suppose to do  this  week. I found some images I am  just not to sure about them. I have to go to a class chat session. My instructor said that  she would go over how we are suppose to find  the art that she is looking for.

Central watchtower, architectural model, Eastern Han dynasty (25–220), 1st–early 3rd century
China
Earthenware with green lead glaze
Source: Central watchtower [China] (1984.397) | Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History | The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Assignment Type: Individual Project   Deliverable Length: 500 words (not including references)
Points Possible: 100   Due Date: 9/5/2010 11:59:59 PM  CT

Visit the following websites and explore the collections of Ancient Art there:

• The Metropolitan Museum of Art
• The Louvre Museum
• The Smithsonian Institution Freer Gallery and Sackler Gallery

See the Course Materials List for access to these sites.

From the gallery websites listed above, and available through the Course Materials List, select two works of art from any ancient culture. Using the terminology and concepts you are learning for evaluating art, compare and contrast the two works including materials used, style, meaning, symbolism, and any other aesthetic issues. Explain how the works of art fit into the context of the time period. Keep in mind that only art works that fit into the period of Ancient Art (created between 30,000 BCE- 500 CE) will be accepted.

You are required to comply with APA style format for quotations, internal citations and a reference list. For additional information and resources on APA, visit the APA section of the Library, available under "Library Features."

For information on Macintosh Word shortcuts, click here.

Please submit the final paper with the URLs for the art work you chose.